Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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