and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
