some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
