I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
