uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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