You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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