I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
