Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
