You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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