would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
