It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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