Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
