It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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