i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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