It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
