He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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