smell my finger.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
