We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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