i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
