i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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