New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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