I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
