Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
