So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
where am i from again
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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