okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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