Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
