Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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