he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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