Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
