kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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