i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
