If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
