No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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