just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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