I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
