just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
