I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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