Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
