please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
