Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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