i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
