do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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