i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
