You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
