dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
All I want is dick and wine.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
