whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
