I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize