I got chris browned last night
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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