At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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