spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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