if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I have post one night stand depression
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize