She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
