Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My hand turned me down
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
