found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Someone signed my nipple.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize