Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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