batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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