Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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