shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
