i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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