ugly people sure do ruin things
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You were trust falling into bushes
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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