it was like his penis was on wheels.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
