all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
