Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
