he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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