i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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