is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
