Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
