I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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