I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
