im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
