i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
