Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
