so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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