New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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